Tuesday, April 04, 2017

but i still have my hair and that's something


Photo credit: charliegolonkiewicz

it's easier to find this funny when you're 26. when you're 26 you can believe that you can turn your life around or realize your untapped potential or whatever, so the outward indications of your loserdom don't seem to be indicative of your core self or your future. they're just temporary and therefore can be dismissed and made light of.

at 40, it's more difficult to hang on to that belief. youthful promise failed to mature; romantic relationships proved to be fleeting and far-between; the career never came together in spite of all the time invested; important people passed on; old friends naturally focus on their careers and families; affinities with new people never seem to congeal into new friendships; and you find yourself about to start your fifth decade of life worse off then when you were in your mid-20s, working a minimum wage job and living with your parents. at least back then i had a car.

i've been trying to find this funny for the last 5 years. i have yet to succeed. but i want to get to the point where i can. i think that's the only victory of any significance anymore.

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